LONG SLEEVE 3-BUTTON POLO SHIRT (REPTILIAN SHAPE SHIFTER ARMY GREEN)

Long sleeve 3-button polo shirt, 100% pique cotton with reptilian ’hatchling’ logo chest embroidery. Picture this: You’ve just completed basic training, and because you’re such a cold-blooded, ultra violent, sociopath badass, the reptilian army generals have a meeting and decide that they need to recruit you to an elite special forces unit. Your mission: travel to various ‘developing nations’ around the globe, terrorize a bunch of defenseless innocent civilians, plunder their land and secure the oil, minerals, and precious metals on behalf of multinational corporations. Fast forward to 3 years later, while on patrol your unit is ambushed by insurgents and everyone, including you are killed. At your funeral, the hottest girl from your high school approaches your coffin, filled with regret that she never took you up on your dozens of overtures to hump. Staring down at your lifeless war-hero-ass body. A single tear falls from her eye and lands upon this fresh-ass shirt. And in that moment, staring down from heaven, you realize, it was all worth it…